Getting Boys to Read: 10 Small Things that Make a Big Difference

In case you missed the first post in this series: reading builds the neural architecture for empathy, emotional vocabulary, and theory of mind in boys — and fiction may be the most naturalistic way to develop skills that therapy works hard to support. The neuroscience is worth understanding.

Here’s the tl;dr. Mirror neurons mean that when a boy reads about a character’s experience, his brain silently rehearses it — activating the same motor, sensory, and emotional processing areas that would fire in real-life situations. Raymond Mar’s research suggests that people who read more fiction score higher on theory of mind measures, which is the ability to understand that others have inner lives as rich and complex as their own. Dan Siegel’s work on interpersonal neurobiology explains that the richer a boy’s emotional vocabulary, the better his brain can regulate his feelings — and the more accurately he can read what others feel. A boy who only has access to “fine,” “mad,” and “whatever” is working with a limited mentalizing toolkit, not because he lacks empathy, but because he lacks the conceptual infrastructure to represent emotional nuance.

If that sounds like the work of therapy, it is. You can find the full post, along with the reading list that informed my thinking in 2025, here.

None of these ideas are meant to be dogmatic. They could serve as options for a conversation with your family about how to incorporate more reading into your son‘s life. Alternatively, they might simply be food for thought as your family considers these ideas in your own unique way.

1) Any Book Is the Right Book. — Let boys read anything — graphic novels, sports stats, gaming guides, comic books. The goal is to build the habit and identity of being a reader, not to curate the content. Some schools require 30 minutes of reading at a particular level, so comic books might not fit that 30 minutes, but they are fair game otherwise.

2) Be Together, No Screens Needed — Something I recently recommended is a family reading and/or a parent’s work hour (or half-hour) without screens. For boys with ADHD, the presence of a supportive adult or a body double can provide dopamine through being together. It also offers accountability without making parents feel they need to micromanage their son.

3) Follow Their Obsessions. — A boy who loves dinosaurs, space, basketball, technology, or magic tricks can almost always find a book that feeds that interest — nonfiction counts just as much as fiction. If a kid loves tech, let them read books about technology or great inventors. Their stories contain valuable life lessons.

4) Let the Music Play — Try pairing reading with music. Instrumental or familiar music works best, preferably more of a background hum than a distraction. For boys with ADHD, this could be a way to pair dopamine sources — music and reading — that build interest.

5) Let Him Choose — Give kids choice and ownership. Take them to a bookstore or library and let them pick books without steering. The act of choosing increases their interest and investment.

6) Start Small, Go Slow — If twenty minutes feels too long, start with ten and gradually increase. Next week, aim for twelve minutes daily. Cal Newport, whose work on deep focus I find relevant to many boys I see, recommends this as a starting point for cultivating deeper thinking.

7) Make it His — Don’t always require a report. Allow a child to read without demanding summaries or analyses, which can add pressure and make reading feel like school. Also, avoid using reading or writing as punishment.

8) Find a Series, Reduce Resistance — Find a series your child relates to. Boys who become hooked on series (such as Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Percy Jackson, The Maze Runner) naturally develop reading stamina because they’re motivated by ongoing stories. Having a series on hand removes the decision fatigue that can be overwhelming, especially for ADHD.

9) Schedule Nothing — Protect unstructured time. Boredom is an underrated gateway to books. When every moment is scheduled or an opportunity for a screen-based dopamine fix, reading has no chance to fill that gap. Boredom also boosts imagination, grit, creativity, and the ability to simply be present. Like most things worth doing, it requires some tolerance for discomfort — yours and theirs. But remember, you signed up to be a parent, not a cruise director.

10) A Story Is a Story — Let audiobooks count. That’s still a win over short-form content. A story absorbed on a long drive or before sleep is still a story. Our stories and the patience to pause and listen are what bind us.

Bonus Tip: The Science of Winding Down — Reading close to bedtime (fiction or light nonfiction) helps downregulate the brain and prepares it for sleep. It lowers cortisol levels, reduces any unwanted rumination, and eases mental activity. A 2009 study from the University of Sussex found that just 6 minutes of reading lowered stress by up to 68%. Clearly, avoid e-readers or tablets, and dim, warm light helps.